So, I went for my first psychologist appointment a couple of days ago. What a whirlwind of thoughts going through my mind. Stop.
Be true to myself.
I have been thinking about a number of things that were discussed during my session. The following are definitely true:
- I need to start saying NO when I can’t do something, or don’t want to do something.
I am, and always have been a people pleaser. Why? Because I don’t want others to feel sad, let down, like they aren’t a priority to someone, that someone doesn’t care…. I am learning that I can’t always please everyone. The more I try to split myself, th
e less I can do. The more I try to bend over backwards for everyone else, the less I can focus on what’s truly important in MY life. By no means am I going to stop being there for my friends and family – that’s not who I am. I AM a caring person. I am a helpful person. I choose to be. But I need to start prioritising me, my immediate family, and our goals. Saying no does not make me mean, it does not mean that I don’t care. It just means that at that time, no, I can’t.
- I need to prioritise me more and set out my goals
I have goals. Short term goals, long term goals, life goals…. And if I don’t start to prioritise me more, then I will never reach those goals. If I don’t set aside time for me to study and make it clear to people that this is MY time to do MY thing, they won’t take me or my goals seriously.
- My comfort zone
I told my psychologist that I was trying to get out of my comfort zone – for example, I did a zipline recently. It was short. It lasted all of about 20 seconds. But I did it. I jumped off that pier and absolutely loved (almost) every second of it. For some people it may sound silly, but I don’t care. I’m scared to hurt myself. So, I’m now determined to do a handstand. And jump over a little ditch which I never would have. But she made an interesting point to me. And I like it. Why am I trying to get OUT of my comfort zone? Shouldn’t I rather be expanding my comfort zone? Inviting things IN TO my comfort zone? Yes, I think I like that better. I feel like I have more control by saying that. I can still feel “safe” and not like I’m vulnerable – because it is ME who is in control.
It’s been a good week with some interesting changes. I can see these points working.
You cannot pour from an empty jug. You have to look after yourself if you want to provide holistically for your children. While making a living is important…don’t forget that you also need too make a LIFE.